Chakk de India?

With great repugnance I have been watching the promos of this new shahrukh khan movie. Everytime I see visuals of Sharukh Khan wearing the irritating smirk, doing the bollywood patented slow motion strutting accompanied by the seedy theme song, I develop a strong urge to throw up or bang my head against the nearest wall. It really gets my goat to see bollywood trivialising rampantly and constantly feeding us such melodrama.

Sharukh says this is a movie that breaks stereotypes - why? - because it's about hockey; it's about women's hockey; it's about Indian women's hockey led by a muslim coach. Ugh, this is anything but breaking stereotypes. I have lost count of how many earnest muslim police officers I have seen in bollywood. I have already watched lagaan. The theme song might as well be any of those that play in karan johar's mind numbing movies when the tommy hilfiger clad hero lands in amreeka. It's absolutely in the same mould of the terrible bollywood formula. I am irked because this time it's being done to the thing I love - sports.

I can predict how superficial the movie would be but as we all love to wear our patriotism badges high, when the movie is released viewers will no doubt say how uplifting the movie is because the Indian team comes out trumps in the end. The predictable denouement having occurred through little more than a series of songs and superfluous dialogue would not seem to bother too many since we, Indians are not really sport lovers. We lack the ability to recognise and understand the sheer mental and physical investments athletes make to perform at the international level. So, watching real sporting performances can never generate genuine admiration from within us.

One day cricket works because it's another form of an Indian movie. However, even that is not saved from the unique Indian attitude. What else would explain pot-bellied slobs questioning Irfan Pathan's lack of pace, or junta labelling every Indian loss to "paise khaye hue hain". No Sir, don't expect too much from us. We are happy with the king khan of plastic smiles telling us about one of Indian sport's finest achievement and how it was accomplished.

I would, however be glad to have the Indian audiences prove me wrong. If the promos are an aberration and the film proves me wrong, better.

Update
I saw the movie today. The movie did not turn out as bad as I expected. I liked the fact that hockey and the girls took centerstage and not Shahrukh. Also, it was good to see the movie bring out the widespread ignorance of the Indian junta to what sport is, with the news media only making it worse. Shilpa Shukla, wow, fine acting.